Many of us have had those relationships with people that we think are “the one.” And then, something crazy happens, or there’s a misunderstanding and everything falls apart. Whether you’re male or female, young or old, you’ve probably experienced this heartache.
What if there was a way to get “the one” back? What if you could figure out how to get your ex back, without making things awkward or even more difficult than they already are? Honestly, there’s a way to do it, but you have to understand what you should and shouldn’t do.
What Not to Do
First, don’t try to reconcile right away. Some relationship experts even suggest ignoring your ex for the first 30 days or so. Don’t make the first move in the first month; if they come to you, then feel free to interact. They will come to you if they truly miss you. If that still hasn’t happened after the first month, then it’s time for you to start working toward getting your ex back. That time is good to help you both cool down and think about how you truly feel.
Second, don’t be obsessive or use guilt trips. That just makes a mess of things. Sure, you may get your ex to feel bad and start dating you if you’re obsessing over them or making them feel horrible about the fact that you aren’t together anymore. But doing that will ensure that you will break up yet again, because you will not have worked through your issues and you’ll end up back where you started.
Third, don’t be spiteful. Just because things may not be going the way that you want them to go doesn’t mean that you have to be rude and/or mean. Don’t do or say things out of spite or jealousy; those feelings are the core of a lot of relational problems and won’t do anything to rekindle the love that you once knew. If you sense these angry monsters coming out, take a time out and thwart those monsters the best you can before moving forward.
What to Do
There are several things that you can do when trying to figure out how to get your ex back. The first of these is that you should be honest, with yourself and with him/her. Be honest with your feelings about your ex to them; if you truly love them, let them know that. They may recoil a bit, which is why you should wait at least a month to make sure that your feelings are real and not just “in the moment.” This emotional honesty is beneficial to both of you and can play a huge role in opening the doors to the relationship being reconciled.
Another thing that you should do when trying to get back with your ex is to use the good times to your advantage. When you start communicating with your ex, bring up some of the good times. The fun things you used to do, the great times you used to have, even the simple things that made the two of you happy. Those good times can influence positive feelings, and those positive feelings can be building blocks for the relationship to rekindle and to become healthy and enjoyable yet again. Remembering good times can help good times to happen in the future.
One other thing that you should make sure to do when trying to get your ex back is be content no matter what the outcome. It isn’t always going to work out the way you want it to, and don’t be angry or vengeful if it doesn’t work out that you get back together. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and, if both of you aren’t “feeling it,” then it’s likely a waste of time. Take the lessons that you have learned and move forward, no matter what the outcome may be.
Be patient. Yes, at first it’s going to seem like it’s not going to ever end, but sometimes the persistence is its own reward. You may not necessarily get back with your ex, but sometimes you learn just as much from trying to get them back as you would from being with them again. It can also help you to look at yourself and learn what you need to do better the next time you’re in a relationship.
This is only the tip of the iceberg; Michael Fiore has a program called Text Your Ex Back, where you can learn how to use technology to reach out to your ex and get them back. There are many programs and forums out there that will help you do the same exact thing, but Fiore’s is the most researched and most extensive out there.